What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 16.06.2025 07:11
I never cut or harmed myself..
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
But ive been too sick for many years..
How is a narcissist likely to handle situations when confronted with hard truths about themselves?
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Was to survive, this bastard.
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Have you made a female relative or friend squirt?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
Why has Biden pulled ahead in battleground states and is now projected to win the 2024 presidency?
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
What is the worst emotional pain you ever felt as an adult?
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
Put me off passion for life!!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
What are some ways to cope with paranoid thoughts about being gangstalked or targeted individuals?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
How good do you sing and how do you know this?
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
I was very sick at this time too.
What are you wearing under your clothes today?
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
What is the boldest and craziest thing your mother has ever done for you?
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
What did Chandrashekhar Azad say about Hinduism during a podcast?
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
I will be 64.
Im still living with it.
I write beautiful poetry .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
I was scared of men, in general
Are people who cite the 2nd Amendment honestly familiar with what it establishes?
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Cycling Linked to Lower Risk of Dementia, Study of Half a Million Finds - ScienceAlert
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Do women wear undies under leggings?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I was 9 years of age.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
I waited trembling.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
All the time i was locked up.
She was in good health!
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
It was going to be , some day.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
My life is so biszare .
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
(And it was in our own minds.)
We all went to grammer schools
My family never makes their pension either.
So whats the point in blame.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Especially a lifetime of it.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
When she asked me how she looked .
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
I could never make a relationship work though!
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Why did i forgive my father ?
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Where the ultimate outsiders.
But it wasn’t much.
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
Comes on , in middle age.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And i lived it daily.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
What did i know ?
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
One cannot live in the past .
They are buried together, in the same grave..
So, i spoilt her more .
Ive learnt so much.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
But, we were locked up after school.
Would this be the day?
She wouldn,t have been !
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
I have no regrets .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I don,t even have a pension.
Who then, do I blame.?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She found it foreign!.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I said to her
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
I was seconnd youngest,
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
I couldn’t, believe it.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
As i do to all so called friends.?
He resisted the act ,that day.
He knew the spot.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
This is soul school!.
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
We were not on the streets..
She loved him until the end.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
She married twice! .
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
I think the readers, may guess!